How to Make People Uncomfortable
By Simone Smith
People spend far too much time trying to figure out how to make people happy and comfortable. Sure, you can get ahead by impressing people; but it is far more fun to get ahead using intimidation and other nefarious tactics to make people uncomfortable.
The art of making other people uncomfortable is a fine one- full of nuance and skill. It is also much easier on one than the practice of pleasing others, which is not only draining but wrought with risks of personal rejection and lapses in respect.
Let us peruse the predominant means of inciting discomfort in others. Whether you wish to climb to the top in the business world, gain social standing, or simply have fun watching others squirm, I have great advice for you below.
Before You Begin
Stop taking yourself so seriously. Really.
People put way too much stock in their lives and reputations- so much so that they are unable to take the risks necessary to actually build a reputation worth defending.
If you want to be at all effective at making others uncomfortable, you must first learn to never be uncomfortable with yourself. One of the easiest means of achieving this is to cease taking yourself seriously.
The Face
Though your countenance may seem to be a more subtle means of making someone uncomfortable, it is actually one of the most convenient and effective tools you can use.
We depend on people's faces to read situations and get important social cues. By subtly manipulating our faces, we can alter others' subconscious comfort levels. By violently manipulating our faces, we can overtly weird people out.
Here are some good facial expressions to try out:
The Stone
Also commonly known as the poker face, this expression entails the obfuscation of any true expression experienced by the wearer. What makes people uncomfortable about poker faces (for there is nothing out of the ordinary about them) is that they offer no visual feedback for one to go on, making one feel uncertain about oneself and one's situation.
The Scary Face
Though varied from face to face, this expression involves contorting one's countenance into the most disturbing configuration possible. The best crazy faces can be held for longer than fifteen seconds, as one of the most productive uses of this expressions involves holding it while staring unblinkingly into the eyes of one's opponent.
Scary faces have a long history, and can be seen not only carved onto the masks of acient samurai warriors but also actively utilized by Maori warriors.
The Tick
Not wishing to make light of what for some is not controllable, I must still point out that developing a fake tick can freak people out, especially once you have people convinced that it is a precursor to violent action. Eye, mouth, and eyebrow twitches are the easiest to develop.
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General Outward Appearance
Making someone uncomfortable is so dreadfully easy that one can even do it passively after making some initial effort to alter one's appearance.
Permanent and semi-permanent body modifications such as...
- Certain tattoos
- Facial piercing
- Other body piercings
- Tooth shaving (especially to points)
- Plugs (especially in areas other than the typical earlobe)
- Certain types of plastic surgery
...have an excellent track record for making people nervous.
You might even employ more temporary measures such as:
- Extreme hairstyling
- Skin dyes
- Temporary facial inflation with saline injections
Or don accessories such as:
- Chains
- Grills
- Unusual contact lenses
- Spikes
- Iron knuckles
...to intimidate certain individuals around you.
Finally, you can disturb others by donning certain apparel, such as:
- Preppie clothing
- Punk dress
- Gothic dress
- Bondage gear
- Suits
- Mismatched outfits
- Parachute pants
- Very short skirts
- Turbans (if you wish to scare Americans)
- Sandals with socks underneath
- Fishnet stockings
- Butcher aprons
Keep in mind that passive intimidation and discomfort-causing using one's outward appearance only works with certain audiences. While some might be afraid of tattoos, piercings, and facial inflation, others are perfectly comfortable with, and perhaps even attracted to, those features.
Actions
Though it requires more concerted effort, the most enjoyable means by which one may cause discomfort in others involves one's behavior. Though the efficacy of the following methods will vary depending on one's audience and setting, consider these actions as some of the most common means by which others can be made uncomfortable.
Personal Space
Every man (and woman) has a general area about himself that he considers to be his personal space. Enter that space and he shall be made uncomfortable. This need not entail obvious actions and can be as simple as hugging for a bit too long, standing a bit too close, or even choosing to sit right next to one in an empty or sparsely populated area.
Volume Control
One can also make others uncomfortable simply by (subtly) doing everything a bit too much. Speak too loudly. Move too slowly or quickly. Gesture too wildly- or do not move at all. Do everything in excess- but not so much as to make things obvious. Those most skilled at making others uncomfortable do so without letting their victims realize that the discomfort is being caused by just one person.
Additional Actions
People can also be easily made uncomfortable by...
- Staring
- Being faced head on in an elevator
- Nudity
- Unnecessary contact
- Religious or political conversation
- Bad breath
- Fluids of any sort
It is worth emphasizing that one does not have to do very much to make others uncomfortable. Humans require surprisingly set states and behaviors in order to feel at ease. Deviate from any of them just slightly and you will find that you can make a world of difference. The key lies in understanding those set conditions and their outward bounds so that you can play with them accordingly.
What Makes YOU Uncomfortable?
So there you have it- a quick introduction to various means of making others uncomfortable.
What makes you uncomfortable? I know that it always freaks me out when people compliment me. And I heard someone give a great tip the other day... to put lotion on one's hands before shaking hands with another person.
Let's share ideas, shall we? Let us know about good tactics in the comments below!
Comments
Eeeeeeeeexcellent
Scared! But funny and...useful. ;)
Hey, you never know when this stuff might come in handy!
I feel really uncomfortable when people invade my space, getting too close to me.
You seem to be a professional make people uncomfortable, Simone, I would never think of things as diverse as well ...
Anyway got my vote up and funny. Made me laugh.
Cheers!
These are some great ideas. I will be torturing co-workers and neighbors in no time! Great hub!
I personally find bad singing uncomfortable. I was in the grocery store recently and there was man walking up and down singing a little song everywhere he went. He wasn't humming; he was really singing. Unfortunately, I ended up in the same aisle with him several times. The song never changed and the singing never improved. Music was playing on the intercom, but he paid no attention to that. The man was in his own world. Creepy!
After reading this I did a double take and re-read. Put lotion on your hands before shaking...the imagined reactions have started the belly heaves. No praise, no freak...how about a gentle....Marvelous Simone!
Me too, Ancillotti! And I only think I thought of all these things because so many things have the potential to make me uncomfortable... and I tend to notice when I make people uncomfortable too!
So glad you'll be taking some of these things for a spin, Jeannieinabottle! I sure have fun with a lot of these tactics. And you're so right on about bad singing- though that guy in the grocery store sounds particularly creepy!! O_O
Hahaa, I had the same reaction when I heard about that tactic, Alastar Packer! And I laughed even harder because people have totally pulled that on me before, though I don't know if it was intentional. Oh man, it's the creepiest thing ever.
Funny and interesting article it does like a pleasure making people uncomfortable.
Love it. Great article! Especially scary face and lotion on hands photos. Thanks for sharing this one.
Hey Simone, I figured out that this is something I do naturally. It's odd, but I always make people uncomfortable when they meet me. It doesn't go away, but does change from time to time. Thumbs up for your article! :)
Hi Simone, The Stone Face and the Scary Face worked so well on my kids—some things just come naturally to mothers. :)
What makes me uncomfortable is when people stand in a doorway of a small room blocking my exit. It's probably much like the discomfort I feel if strangers or casual acquaintances stand too close. It also creeps me out if people make eye contact for too long. I'm not sure what too long is, but I know it when it's there. Love your hub, as usual!
Thank you spotlight19, and I assure you, it is!
Hahaa- yeah, those are my two favorites, too, FaithDream. I love my scary face. I think everyone has one; it's so much fun to discover it!
So you're a natural, Cagsil- nice! That takes real skill. Use your power for good!!
Oh my gosh, Stephanie Henkel. Mother version of Stone and Scary Faces are like... the ULTIMATE in making others uncomfortable. Heck, some can practically be classified as weapons!! And oh man, I HATE it when people block my exits! Thank god for karate chops ;) You make a good point about staring and prolonged eye contact, though. That's one of my favorite tactics to use, hahaa.
Good points, Simone, you appear to be expert in the skill of uncomfortableness. What really freaks me out is when you shake hands with a new acquaintance and realize you have just inherited all the sanitizing lotion he or she had just smeared all over his hands. Ugh!
Thanks drbj! Oh my gosh... nobody has pulled the hand-sanitizer-handshake on me before, though I have seen folks slosh some on after a handshake session. That must feel so gross! Though... you're also given something cleansing to rub on your hands after, hahaa!
This hub is so funny I sure can relate to the many faces mentioned, I guess my most uncomfortable moment is when I am walking around the parking lot lost and unable to find my car, because I forgot where I parked it.
I don't know if this has happened to anyone before but it is so weird its like I have a brief moment of amnesia.
But that is not the worst part, so once I actually find my car I try to use my key and the car does not open, frustrated I look through the window to find that I do not own any hello kitty seat covers.
and as I walk away the person who owns the car gives me the stone scary face and long stare.
now I can understand that they must have thought I was trying to steal their car but geez, they just happened to have a car that looked like mine.
It helps when the parking lot attendant reminds me that I can use the car beeper thingy on my keychain to see which car back lights start flashing...so I can finally get out of the twilight zone and back to my less amusing life.
This is so awesome :=D
Oh My! My scary face. . . .trumps the pictured one without me even trying to make a scary face. I know this. . . .because I'm old, and forever people are thinking I'm pissed about something while I'm actually wondering how many beers are left in my fridge.. . . .
I'm not a big guy. I'm about a buck fifty with my boots on. . . .but I once knocked about a hundred bucks off the price of a new set of tires for a lady friend at Walmart, the tires were already on the car, but the first price was not what we'd been lead to think it would be - the scary face. . . .guess security was at lunch that day.
It is disturbing to me when someone exclaims, "YOU DON"T SCARE ME!"
Generally, I was only then thinking about bumming a smoke. Einstein was given more brains than anyone else. I was given a heaping helping of the scary face.
Of course I also get told rather often that I look too much like this guy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anton_LaVey
But of course I'm far better looking. . . .Mom said so!
What makes me uncomfortable????? When I crack jokes (they never stop). . . and they are greeted with silence.
My dad used to date a woman who would, to upset people, enter a crowded elevator and refuse to turn around towards the door. Never had the courage to try it myself.
Amusing, original and entertaining. I love the concept behind your Hub.
Hahaa!! I know what you mean about misinterpretation of facial expressions, Wesman Todd Shaw!! Though people typically think I'm feeling disdainful instead of pissed. And MAN!! There really are few things so uncomfortable as being met with silence after telling a joke- or anything!
Oh Farmer Ted, you MUST try the elevator thing once. I do it all the time- it's so fun!
And thanks for stopping by, DRG Da Real Grinc :D
This is one of the funniest hubs I've read in a long time. LMAO! I'm going to share this with my friends on FB, and they are going to feel soooo uncomfortable. He-he. Thanks for the good advice: "Stop taking yourself (and Life) so seriously."
Awesome! I can't stop laughing...maybe I'll try one of these today! My favorite was "The Tick". I can imagine making my face have these ticks and people would think something was wrong with me. Great Hub!
JSMatthew~
How about going down a grocery store aisle following the aromatic scent of someone who has just expelled enough gas that could light up a small town? Now THAT is uncomfortable!
You DO have a way of coming up with unusual but funny hubs. If I'm in San Francisco someday and have a lady enter an elevator who remains facing the back and has a facial tic and also a scary face, I'll know it is you. Haha!
Five Stars!!
lol...I've been trying so hard to make people comfortable and ignoring the fact that I was given a marvelous gift of making people uncomfortable without any effort. It's tiring..
hmm..this hub has just convinced me to nurture the gift instead..thanks for sharing.
This is a very funny hub! I love the idea of facing the "wrong" way in an elevator - I've seen young children do this, but never adults. Sitting close to someone is also a great idea to make them feel uncomfortable. This would probably work very well in an empty bus or train when there's just one other person present. Another tactic that works well is to avoid wearing deodorant on a hot day or to exercise without deodorant and then avoid taking a shower afterwards!
Lol. Nice Hub! Well written! :D
This was a neat hub. I felt uncomfortable with some of those death stares on the pictures. Ha
rorshak sobchak
Not the hub but the face made me uncomfortable. I felt scared.
Thanks MartieCoetser! Yeah, it really pays to lighten up, methinks :D
And it can be great fun to play around with ticks, J.S.Matthew. I recommend it!
Now THAT would be uncomfortable, Peggy W! And smelly!! And yeah- you'll know it's me!!!
Thank you, ever so, Carolyn 2008! And Extinct Soul, I say we ought to use what god gave us. Why go against the grain? ;)
Excellent point, AliciaC. Body odor certainly makes ME uncomfortable! Hahaa, one of the reasons I loved being on the swim team is that it was never an issue... I should try this whole stinky thing and see just how much it makes people squirm!
Much appreciated, Don Ship. And yeah, some of those photos give me the heeby jeebies too, roshark sobchak and upal19. That's why I chose them!
I especially was entertained by the suggested Discomforting Appearance Toolkits being sold at Amazon haha.
Hahaa, all in the name of convenience, ErikaT! All in the name of convenience :D
if you are too dazzling beautiful, that could be intimidating and making others uncomfortable is very easy with no effort at all.
Ooooh, excellent point!
Great hub - hate to admit it but really short skirts and very low fronts can make me uncomfortable...
Great Hub. I used to do the elevator trick in college. I also found that just facing the rear of the elevator instead of the door works just as well.
I'm with you on that, Gary Shorthouse. Especially when it's chilly.
And I am SO going to try that out, leroy64! Hahaa!!
I well remember how easily a woman a couple of aisles over in a store made me really uncomfortable. She just shouted, "David!" My own mother had not called my name in that tone of voice for at least 30 years, but I froze in place. A mother's yell is something a guy just doesn't forget.
I can't remember if English composer Edward Elgar was the perpetrator or the victim, but someone in his foursome always used to whistle a snatch of Wagner just as another was beginning to putt--with the second note always excruciatingly sharp.
So true, allpurposeguru! There is nothing so uncomfortable-making as a mother's admonishing yell.
And LOVE the Wagner move. I'm going to have to take that for a spin XD
Absolutely hilarious! I am most definitely going to enjoy trying some of these out.
YES!! Do so!!
My husband gives me the "stone" face all of the time. Next time I am going to ask him if he is trying to make me uncomfortable.
Hahaa! Do it! The stone face is a real killer!
Another good way to make a person feel uncomfortable is if there is something you find out during a casual conversation they don't particularly like and you keep talking about it, or making up stories about your own experiences with the subject matter.
That is VERY SMART! I'll have to take that neat little tactic for a spin, midwestmaestro! Thanks for the tip!
"You never know when this stuff might come in handy!" Sooo true. I will be trying some of this stuff out tomorrow!
YAY!! GO FOR IT, AUSTIN!! Make them SQUIRM!
Simone,
Never thought I would read something with such a title all the way through. Caught my attention and now I am going to do some experimenting!
Thanks!
Johnny
HAhaa, glad to hear you'll be doing some experimenting, Johnny! If you find any great methods that I don't mention in the Hub, let me know! I'll add them in- crediting you, of course :D
I feel really uncomfortable when People are yelling at each other because we all knows what will happen next
There's this one b***c in my building who keeps hanging around us and won't leave my boyfriend alone.... GAME ON!!
Ren Chin 12 months ago
This Hub makes me feel uncomfortable!