Are Men Dumb?

Are men dumb? This is an eternal question; one that certainly must be addressed.

As an expert in playing dumb, general stupidity, and the particular stupidity of womankind, I think I just might be the person to tackle this issue.

Though you might argue that I am biased, being of female build, I promise you that I shall explore this subject with professional indifference, and leverage my female perspective in the name of scientific exploration, not vindictive posturing.

Now let's not tiptoe around this issue.

Men are dumb.

There is no getting around that one. Don't get me wrong, guys. You're fine just as you are. And I'm sure you wouldn't want to switch over to the other side. When it comes to male stupidity, we simply have to face the facts. The evidence follows.

As a woman myself, I feel it is my right to say that this propensity that many men have is definitely dumb. Do you have any idea what you’re getting into? I would like to think that men don’t realize the folly of falling for the ladies… but no doubt they have been well informed.

Warning stories expounding on the dangers of having a weakness for women have been around for thousands of years. If you don’t believe me, take a second to think about it. Consider all of the epic fails men have achieved due to this flaw.

Perhaps we can start with the downfall of Eden. Boy, if Adam hadn’t ditched Eve when he had the chance, maybe mankind would still be living the good life.

But maybe you don’t go for biblical stuff, which is fine. So let us consider another (albeit) less ancient epic fail brought on by a man’s love for a woman: Troy. Boy what a train wreck. Thanks Paris. You really helped a lot of folks by falling for that Helen chick. Way to go.

And let’s not forget our dear Romeo, who had everything going for him- that is, until he thought it would be awesome to fall for a girl (and not only a girl, but the one girl he really shouldn’t have fallen for).

Even when relationships work out, are they really smart moves on men’s parts? If they fall in love and get attached, they make themselves weak and exposed (think of all the “heroic” men who have put their lives on the line to saved their damsels). If they don’t really fall in love, but still get sucked into the lust thing enough to get married, they get stuck in a bad relationship.

And must we ignore the fact that these are women men are falling for? Moody, mercurial, manipulative women? Is it really a good idea to intertwine one’s fate and happiness with these specimens? I mean… it’s fine that men do, but dogs have a much better track record in the loyalty and undying love department, so if men want companionship, the smart move would be to go with one of those. Technically speaking, mental attachments and relationships are not needed for… er- other needs.

It is suffice to say that I could go on and on with this argument, but to spare you time and to spare me carpel tunnel syndrome, let’s just leave it at this: falling for women is a dumb move.

I don’t want to play up stereotypes, but women have a much better reputation in the consensus-building department than their male counterparts. And male counterparts have historically had a tendency to spark fights, be more competitive, and wage wars. This is just how things have played out so far.

What’s up with that? Fights hurt! Fights are inefficient! Fights are damaging! That men seem to get a kick out of dueling it out is rather nonsensical. Obviously conflict is inevitable, but there are so many ways one can work through problems. One can talk it out, for example. Or one can simply walk away from one’s pig-headed opponent. Women seem to be pretty good at doing this. But men…. Well, the particularly silly thing is that many of them seem to get a real kick out of fighting. If there is no conflict, they’ll stir some up, just to brighten their days. And that’s pretty dumb.

While unnecessary fighting is inane, damaging, and sad, I do, however, want to make it clear that I do not condone the end of all fighting. It may be stupid, but it sure is entertaining.

Many fights and wars are waged over delusions of grandeur stemming from the male ego, which strikes me as quite the dumb characteristic.

One of the most salient demonstrations of male ego and false sense of honor is seen with 18th century duels fought over a woman or man’s honor. While there might be some logical sense in fighting for one’s life, liberty, or property, there is pretty much no logical sense in dying for one’s honor- let alone the honor of some sniveling female (back to that whole “falling for women” weaknesses). That men seem to have some desire for this false sense of honor and importance is painfully stupid.

It goes without saying that men have enjoyed more positions of power than their female counterparts over the years. What suckers!

While men sit on their high thrones and feel very big and important, women are snickering behind their backs. Why? Because:

1. They’re doing all the grunt work of ruling the world
2. They’re taking all the blame for screwing up the world

What chumps! While men have worked hard and taken all the blame for our generally corrupt and monstrous species, women have been able to sneak around and pull strings behind the scenes without catching much flack at all.

Perhaps the garnering of glory that leads to man’s hunger for power stems from the ego issue discussed above. But there seems to be something more to it than that- a genuine yearning for power that extends from a desire, on the individual level, for a strong body, all the way to a strong need for control over others that emanates from entire male-dominated governments.

What makes hunger for power dumb? The simple reality that power is an illusion.

I don’t like saying mildly negative things about groups to which I don’t belong, so I’ll bring this argument to a close while admitting that there is much more one could say to argue the point.

The gist is this: men are indeed dumb, and the evidence abounds. I’m sorry. It would be great if they were sharper, but hey, there’s something to be said for adorable weaknesses and room for improvement.

If you happen to be male and feel a bit miffed about my thesis, please take these two modest concessions:

1. Humans in general are rather dumb
2. You’re not the only gender that happens to lack mental capacity